Grateful

For the last two years, Scout and I have kept a journal (three at this point) of what we are grateful for at the end of each day.

The practice started when I was going through a rough time with my mental health and felt disconnected from the things around me. I struggled to find joy in big things, let alone the small stuff. We were also looking for a way to connect and reflect on our day apart, as she transitioned to full-time work, and I was working part-time and in seminary.

Each night before bed we sat down and found something in our day that made us feel grateful. Many times, the things we shared were simple – eating dinner together, having a good conversation with a friend, or a short line at the grocery store. Other times it was something deeper– the support of family, each other, finding community. The journals have traveled the country with us. They know things about our lives that could only make sense to the two of us.

Sometimes it was difficult to think of anything to be grateful for on a particularly difficult day. We found those were the most important days to keep the practice going. I won’t lie and say that we were meticulous about this. For several days, we forgot to write something down. We would open the journal after three days and realize, that although we might have said it aloud, we never wrote anything down for those days. Nevertheless, we went back through, reflecting on what we did each day and finding something to note, even if it was less fresh on our minds. No matter what, we have written in the space for each day.

When we first started, I was hesitant about the idea. I’m always skeptical of anything that sounds too close to toxic positivity. Would I be forcing myself to flip the script of my day and find something good that wasn’t there? It felt like I would need to ignore any bad days so that the journal stayed “pure” and retained its joyous outlook. But I quickly realized that, for us at least, the practice was much deeper. It was about connection with ourselves, our relationship, and the world around us. While the statements are often short and simple, the conversations we have about the experiences that led to them, and the things we want to take with us or leave behind from those are so much bigger than we could fit on a single page.

As we go into this holiday focused on thankfulness, I hope that our experience with this grateful reflection inspires you to find things that might be life-giving to you– both for whatever your situation might be during these often trying times, and that may sustain you in some way beyond this week.