Brothers and Friends

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

–Proverbs 27:17

This past weekend, I traveled up to Waco for a special lunch at my alma mater, Baylor University. My fraternity chapter there was hosting a 25^th anniversary alumni lunch, and as one of the founding fathers of the chapter, I was eager to return and celebrate the milestone with them. I came late to Greek life at college, never really imagining that I would be a part of it; but after feeling a lack of community and connection, I happened across an announcement for an interest meeting about starting a chapter of a Christian fraternity, and I decided to check it out. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I immediately felt welcomed into a brotherhood that was already forming, and quickly felt connected. Before I knew it, we were establishing the founding class and applying for a charter from the university.

One of the reasons I felt so connected and wanted to commit to this organization was because of a central pillar of the fraternity: weekly small group meetings that centered on building community, praying for each other, and being present for all the ups and downs of life. Those groups were my first experience with that kind of ministry, and it was powerfully transformative for me. It helped me discern my call to ministry and show me what community could look like. Some of the guys that I shared those intimate gatherings with remain close friends to this day; I’ve been in their weddings, seen the births of their children, and watched as they advanced in careers. We’ve grown and changed over time, and experienced significant personal transformation together—one of my small group brothers was the very first person I ever came out to, and I can still remember standing in my apartment near campus unburdening myself of this secret—and his immediate embrace of me and assurance that he loved me no matter what.

25 years later, I know that what I experienced then has helped shape and form me into the person I am today. It struck me sitting in that lunch that we can never really understand all the ways that we influence and shape each other, and how even small things can ripple for many years to come. The book of Acts records that in the early church, the first Christians “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers” (Acts 2:42). That simple act of fellowship, done intentionally, can change lives and even change the world.

That’s one reason I’m so excited that we are reviving our Soul Friends small group ministry here at Friends. This was such a special ministry before Covid, and I know that many in our community developed some profound and meaningful relationships through it. As we anticipate its relaunch in the new year, I hope that you will consider being a part of a group, or even volunteering to help facilitate one. I can attest to the impact that something so seemingly simple can have on one life. And as the letter to the Philippians reminds us, “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.”