Be Thankful for You

“What are you thankful for?” The standard question we hear during the Thanksgiving holiday. So often we respond with words of gratitude for the people in our lives, the spaces that enrich it, and all the ways we are enlivened by the world around us. But there is one response I’ve realized I never hear: I’m thankful for me. Think about it. Have you ever thought of your own self as something to be thankful for? If not, there are so many parts of yourself that are deserving of self-gratitude. And we could all do a little better at recognizing how hard we’ve worked to be where we are today.

I’ll give you some personal examples. I have heard people comment that I am someone who exhibits a non-anxious presence, easy going attitude, and patience in difficult moments. But what most people do not know is that I’ve also been through therapy for anger management, and self-harm. I have, in the past, been so angry that I’ve thrown things in my home or hurt myself. My emotional regulation skills were severely lacking in the past, to the detriment of my relationships with others, and with myself. I have also had a habit in the previous years of being terribly unkind to myself in my head, becoming my harshest critic, and greatest bully. There is so much of ourselves that others never see, and when we are not in the habit of validating our own growth, then we also never extend gratitude for the work we have done to be better.

I keep a handwritten journal for every year. It’s a practice I picked up after completing my prolonged exposure therapy during the pandemic. It is tradition that I read through the entire year’s journal before beginning a new one, and I write a thorough reflection, which includes expressions of gratitude for getting through another year. I’ll include a few reflections from previous years below:

Reflections on 2023

“I was so scared about starting my job. I felt so unsure, but it turns out I’m pretty good at it. I was really depressed at the beginning of last year. That was exhausting, but my meds have been working and I got through it. I worked hard to love myself.”

Reflections on 2024

“I ended this year feeling proud of myself, accomplished, and started a new painting. And there is no doubt that I am loved by my family, friends, and church.”

Friends, when you are reflecting on gratitude this week, I encourage you to take time to practice extending gratitude to yourself, for getting through difficult times, for picking up a new hobby or routine, for working through unhealthy behaviors or patterns. And hold onto this important reminder: you cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you are being unkind to the person looking back at you in the mirror. Happy Thanksgiving.